hood philosopy

The best freaking lip gloss ever.

(via labanditway)

😍 iNeed.

(Source: photo-swag, via lehellokittymaster)

akstaruniverse:

Trini Tings

Can’t wait to see this damn sign on Xmas eve. 😁

(Source: akstaruniverse)

Yessssss. Currently how I feel in life.

(Source: cedricprince, via badassyella)

luckyshirt:

Dear guy who just made my burrito:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients from one end to the other, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM TO GET TO LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws to accommodate such methods. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.

And guess what else, player? You can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. You and I already know this tortilla was made to maintain its physical integrity for thirty seconds once touched. 

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

 iCry

(via badassyella)

dontforgetto-smile:

That awkward moment when a 4 year old is prettier than you.

The akward moment when you relise how much photoshopping has been done to this poor child

awkward moment when you misspell realise

awkward moment when she looks like a fucking drawing

The awkward moment when you try to correct someone and still end up misspelling the word realize.

The awkward moment when Americans and Brits spell realise differently.

The awkward moment when this post is awkward

that awkward moment when this post makes me love tumblr despite its stupidity

The awkard moment when you reblog this just because of the comments.

the awkward moment where the girl has 500 pounds of make up on

The awkward moment when the girl doesn’t even weigh 500 pounds.

the awkward moment when no one at all really weighs 500 pounds

I <3 comments.

That awkward moment when people need to fucking realize that kids are models and they do wear make up. Its not like this is her everyday look. You don’t know how old she is, you don’t even know what this picture was for. That awkward moment when all you bitches make assumptions about shit you don’t know..

 That awkward moment when one person gets mad.

That awkward moment when this is the most hilarious post I’ve seen in a while.

The awkward moment when i’m about to ruin this whole post and tell you guys I just gotta pee.

that awkward moment when shut up. too many kids at my school say awk or awkward.

that awkward moment when i blazed this blunt 

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN I REALIZED WHAT TUMBLR PEOPLE REALLY IS! FULL OF JUDGEMENTAL STUPID FUCK! 

That awkward moment when someone gets so angry that they find it necessary to use capital letters.

That awkward moment when everyone else is laughing but one person is pissed off for no reason

That awkward moment when everybody has something clever to say but you can’t think of shit.

That awkward moment where people are getting randomly mad, and I’m sitting here reading the comments with the same face that little girl has on. 

That awkward moment when one person thinks she’s saying something smarter than the rest so she uses bold.

That awkward moment when this happens.

the awkward moment when one person adds a comment that makes no sense just because they’re trying to add an awkward moment.

that awkward moment when im laughing my ass off.

the awkward moment when none of these are even awkward

the awkward moment when strangers on tumblr unite

that awkward moment when i dont have an awkward moment to tell

the akward moment when this has nearly 150000 notes

the awkward moment when nothing above is awkward and you just wasted your time reading all this ;)

woah, what an awkward moment :/

Tears are coming out of my eyes. I laughed so hard.

(via mintandlace)

*faints* E. Ungaro ‘07 Spring Collection

Shoe-icide. Shoegasm. Everything.

Ahahaha.

B A D

(via fuckyeahrihanna)

akstaruniverse:

Heritage…

To d bone.

(Source: akstaruniverse)

Bad.

(Source: ayboss)